Sunday 1 November 2009

Not what I imagined...

...My husband moves into his own place tomorrow. Things reached the point of no return and we cannot live together anymore. Lots of heartbreak all round. Telling the children was painful. Telling everyone is really hard. I can't really face being in groups of people right now, can only deal with very close friends who knew we had problems. I'm dreading the start of term tomorrow, I have to let certain people know in case the children mention it.

I keep wondering if this is right and asking myself if we can work on it....after all he's never been unfaithful, a drinker, hit me, abused me and he loves us all but in my heart of hearts I know it is right as there has been a total breakdown in communication. I thought things would be very amicable but we seem to have become the stereotypical separating couple - arguing about money mostly and who gets what....money was always one of our flashpoints (I've resented not having equal access or control and I've resented being shut out of our finances even more than being shut of of his heart/thoughts/interests/work as I felt like a child) so I suppose it's inevitable that money will cause even more trouble now we're no longer together.

Can't really say more right now. My head and heart are in a mess.