I just haven't had time for ages, I never sit still long enough to write a great deal, life got extra bisy when Phoebe started to walk way back in August.
Anyway I'm back today to share something Anna (aged 4) is worrying about.....I'll record the conversation we had:
Anna: One day will I die? (no idea where this has come from!)
me: Yes, nobody lives forever, I'm sure it won't be for a very, very long time though
Anna: Will you die mummy?
me: yes, we all die one day, but not for a very long time, my mummy and daddy are still alive so I'm sure I'll be around to see you have your own babies and watch them grow up.
Anna: (starts to cry a little bit) I don't want you to die, I need you to look after me
me: I'm really sure you won't need looking after cos you'll be all grown up, you will have your own house by then
Anna: (sobbing) I don't EVER want to have my own house, I want to stay here with you, Daddy, Lucy and Phoebe!
Me: (now cuddling Anna) that's lovely sweetheart, you might feel differently when you're a grown up, we'll all live together for a very long time before you even THINK about living in your own place
She seemed reassured to I popped out of the room to get a drink....and heard her say 'Lucy, when we grow up can we live in a house together?' I didn't hear Lucy's reply. I returned to the dining room and Anna asked me if she'll be able to cook pasta whenever she likes when she's a grown up (yes) and said maybe we'll all live in a row of houses and go to each others' houses for tea every day.
I don't know what's brought this on. Just lately Jade Goody has been on my mind a lot as it's so heartbreaking for her and her kids, she's only 27 and they're 4 and 5. I know someone else who's lost their partner/kids' mother too. I haven't spoken about any of this in front of my children so it's kind of spooked me out slightly that Anna's talked about this today.
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3 comments:
Awww , she's just coming up to the age to start understanding alive and dead, it's a toughie. I hate those questions!
The worst for me was when India asked me if her grandad (my Dad who died when I was 17) would love her if he was alive to meet her! She was 4 then too,and I could barely answer for the tears!
I'm sure it's nothing you've said,it's just her age and starting to understand.
Awww, the BIG questions! Esme is pretty obsessed with dying too. I got a lovely book from Gillian that made her very happy- "Mountains of Tibet". An old man dies and gets to decide if/when/where/how he comes back. It's so simple and yet very thought provoking. Death's a big thing for small people to get their heads around and Es does get upset occasionally too. Like you I prefer to be honest about it but that's not always easy is it?
Jade Goody is also on my mind quite a bit. It's difficult not to think about her situation. I'm not a fan but I am devastated at the pain her and her family must be in. The thought of my children losing me shakes me to the core. Her poor kids.
Great to see you back on the blog. Let's give Rachel a poke now!
thanks both. I remember Lucy asking about death at a similar age, but being Lucy the conversation didn't involve heaving sobs...it was Anna's raw distress that made it so hard. I might get that book, Sarah, sounds like it'll help.
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